What is the Purpose of a Friend?

If a brother is born for adversity, then what is the purpose of a friend? Well, according to God's Word,

A friend loves at all times,

And a brother is born for adversity. (NKJV)

I used to think that a brother being born for adversity meant that he was the one to cause adversity in another's life, making that person who received the brother stronger.  I'm not sure who ever gave me that idea, but that was wrong. I thought she was receiving a new brother to fight with. The Lord kept showing me this scripture when I was praying for a sister for my daughter. A brother is crucial to have when life gets tough. Unfortunately, in today's Western society, many families have few siblings. But can a friend be even better than a sibling in times of need?

Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend,

Nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity;

Better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away. (Prov. 27:10 NKJV)

Interestingly, this verse suggests that neighbors are like friends or that friends are like neighbors. There may be something to be learned from this verse as to who one's friends should be. The bible has a lot to say about how one should treat one's neighbors.

Do not devise evil against your neighbor,

For he dwells by you for safety’s sake. (Prov. 3:29)

And

Seldom set foot in your neighbors' house, lest he become weary of you and hate you. (Prov. 25:17)

Apparently, there are boundaries regarding how we are to treat those who live near us. My father often spoke to the neighbors who lived around us in the yard when I was growing up, but I never remember him going inside their homes. I often went to play with my friends who lived nearby, but not every day, and I was always invited in. I used to knock on the door and ask if my friend could come out and play. Often their mother woud say, "No, but you are welcome to come inside and play or watch TV with them. " I nearly always did. Those were the days when children could safely play alone outdoors. The Bible does say, "familiarity breeds contempt," so I know that "often" is an issue.

One of my favorites about being a good neighbor is:

He who [proudly] raises his gate seeks destruction [because of his arrogant pride]. (Prov. 17:19b)

According to AI, this verse is in reference to one using a high gate as a prideful, arrogant, or ostentatious display of one's wealth and status, which ultimately leads to one's demise. This is easy to understand. Suppose one makes one's house look significantly better than one's neighbors. In that case, one's neighbor may resent you for making them feel inferior, which is probably why most neighborhoods have houses that look similar or, at the very least, are of comparable size. Building a small home amongst large ones could be seen as a show of false humility. I mean, the lots do cost the same, and no one desires to be made to feel as though they are being ostentatious.

In my personal life, I have found that my friends are typically those who live around me or, at the very least, those who have lived around me at some point in my life. When choosing a neighborhood to live in, I should meet the neighbors and decide if they are the type of people with whom I desire to be friends, because, given time, they probably will be. And we all must realize that,

Our friends are a mirror of who we are or a path to where we are going. (a pastor friend told me this years ago)

Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please help me to live amongst those who love, honor and know you. I ask that you help me to be among those who honor God, family, and country in that order.